The No-Buy Blues

Getting our dopamine fix in unexpected ways

The kickoff to the new year on social media is a cacophony of creators squawking unironically about no-buys and underconsumption-core after the gluttonous orgy we’ve come to know as Christmas in the Western Hemisphere. As if the abysmal haze of January could get any worse, now we’re giving up spending money? Sacrilege. On the other hand… I will acquiesce that a bit of a breather from my favorite form of dopamine isn’t a terrible idea. The question is: what’s going to replace it because I haven’t a drop to spare.

Somewhere in the dusty ruins of my neuro-cortex, a chemical synapse manages to actualize itself into the mental image of a trash heap. It’s all the shit I don’t want to look at anymore. And someone else is buying it on eBay. This is the promised land.

To know me at all is to know that beauty—the pursuit, cultivation, and appreciation of it—is the cornerstone of my existence. I will never stop championing the elevation and celebration of that divine ephemeral quality that existence pours forth to be known. It is, however, an unfortunate assurance that within my dealings with the “spiritual community” there are always the insufferable few who maintain that the pursuit of beauty is superficial at best, to which I kindly remind them that the divine expresses itself through sacred geometric patterns and that adages such as “cleanliness is next to godliness” exist for this reason. All of consciousness seeks to express itself through beauty and, to the degree that it is no longer doing that, is the degree to which it is no longer conscious. It is in this spirit that I offer a series to be peppered throughout 2025 on beauty and style, starting with January: a clean out and organization of epic proportions.

If you, like me, blew a wad last year and need to reel it in for a few months, I have for this first segment of Cultivating Beauty compiled a few suggestions into a rather strategic approach for editing down and expanding our appreciation for what we already have. From the material realm to the digital, no stone shall remain unturned as we take a thorough inventory of what stays, what goes, and how our style of living and dressing is evolving.

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GRATITUDE

Undoubtedly, the first stride toward extracting the most from a no-buy season is to bring oneself to a state of deep gratitude around what you already have. I started a year-end ritual some time ago that has been revelatory for me in terms of keeping perspective around the abundance and favor that comes into my life.

I take an evening when I can unwind my thoughts to do a thorough inventory of what came to me over the course of the year, working my way through three categories: acquisitions, gifts, and grace.

Under the category of acquisitions falls everything you purchased in the year past: clothes and shoes, jewelry, fragrance, cosmetics, home goods and decor, art, services (trainer, food delivery, dermatology, massage, manicure, etc.), new home or car, etc. If you acquired it through your own means, acknowledge it under this heading.

Under the category of gifts is a simple acknowledgement of appreciation for anything that came your way via friend or family member that had meaning to you.

And finally, the category of grace includes anything that was unceremoniously dropped into your lap through no effort of your own, that served to elevate and enhance your experience: new contacts and opportunities, moments of protection, being divinely guided and/or guarded, teachers, an unexpectedly benevolent turn of events, etc.

This practice of acknowledging the abundance that has already come situates us in the energy of constant blessings and favor.

Live in it. Relish it.

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HOME

The Declutter

You knew it was coming. Light some candles and set the mood with a playlist. Time to get real about what works and what doesn’t. You deserve for every room, every cupboard, dare I say every crawl space of your abode to be beautiful and functional. Don’t get overwhelmed. Just start with one room and go from there.

• Three piles: trash, donate, sell. Then follow through on each.

1. The kitchen cabinets, the vitamin cabinet, the junk drawer(s), the pantry

2. The bathroom closets and cabinets

3. The garage, sheds, attic, basement

4. Every bedroom and living space

This decluttering phase is rife with information that can be used as a tool for deeper self discovery. What energy prompted these purchases? (or—what drugs were you on?) Does this item belong to the ideal version of you? How has your self concept or idea of how you’d like to be living evolved? As you spend time in the trenches with your possessions, consider the buying patterns that prompted you to purchase whatever you’re ready to get rid of, as well as the identity that they belong to. Is it stale or still relevant? Awareness of the impulse behind a purchase will inform more aligned purchases in the future.

The Deep Clean

Now that the riff raff is gone from your space, the deep clean begins. Change the vacuum bag and bust out the brush attachments. Every dust mite within a three-mile radius is going to fear for its life.

1. Vacuum the baseboards, ceiling, blinds, window sills, top of fridge, under each appliance, inside all cabinets, heating/air vents, every corner and crevice of the house.

2. Vacuum and/or steam the mattresses.

3. Steam carpets and rugs.

4. Steam / mop the floors.

5. Disinfect or dust every surface. (lampshades, light fixtures, ceiling fan blades too)

6. Oven and fridge deep clean.

7. Treat any mildew in bathroom tile work.

8. Replace smoke detector batteries.

9. Replace bathroom exhaust fans. (fire hazard)

10. Replace air filters.

11. Polish silver / brass pieces if you have them.

The Re-arrange

Quite honestly, nothing gives me the dopamine hit that a perfectly organized and immaculate crib does, but sometimes that’s not enough and the energy needs to be shaken up a bit. Time to move shit around. Before tearing up the entire house, do a little prep work first.

1. Make a Pinterest board of inspo. Find images that speak to the vibe in which you see yourself living. After compiling some new inspo images, pick out the common threads in your style and perhaps isolate them into a few keywords that can be used as reference vibe checks when you start acquiring new pieces.

2. Spend a day with a pizza and a bottle of wine (optional) and maybe some friends (they’re optional too) and experiment with moving your large pieces of furniture around. Feel out what works within the confines and givens of your area that also vibes with your head space.

3. Fill in the newly arranged space with your knick knacks and treasures.

4. Make a list of things you need in order to execute your vision when you begin purchasing again.

5. In my rule book, paint and lighting are permissible purchases in a no-buy because they are investments in a space and in our general wellbeing. Environment dictates (and mirrors) our mental state and contributes greatly to inspiration, creativity, and productivity so I cannot overstate enough the importance of wall color and good lighting as components to setting the right vibe.

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WARDROBE

Do you wear it? Do you look good in it? Do you feel like your best self in it?

Be ruthlessly honest when editing your wardrobe. Make it your credo to tend toward (perhaps fewer) well-made luxurious pieces, with more vibey elements that define your point of view and less trendy fast fashion.

1. Take inventory piece by piece. Put everything into one of four piles: trash, sell, donate, alter. Then follow through with each.

2. Make a relationship with a good tailor. Clothes off the rack often need to be altered to fit properly. Additionally, there are times you find a fabulous piece in a thrift shop and need to rework it in a creative way. Find a tailor that is equally capable of executing small tweaks and large overhauls that require vision.

3. Reorganize what remains in a way that makes sense for you to find what you need on the fly.

4. Play dress up. Probably one night a week you can catch me with a bougie cocktail on my dresser and a playlist sweating through the speakers of my house as I play in my closet. This is an invaluable component to keeping style fresh and interesting, while maintaining a good feel for (and an appreciation of) what you have to work with.

5. Take pics of new looks to save in an “outfit formula” folder on your phone. This is so helpful in pulling inspo on the fly.

6. Clean out jewelry boxes—polish and organize the jewelry you’re keeping.

7. Take shoes to cobbler for repair. Clean and polish remaining shoes.

8. Invest in a chandelier or some warmer track lighting for your closet. Again, this casts a beautiful light in your space that flatters the body and makes dressing a pleasure.

Hot tips:

• Do not buy clothes that are too small and expect to enjoy wearing them. Just because you found a Galliano skirt for $50 on TRR doesn’t mean you should make it work. Buy larger and tailor down if need be.

• Chasing every trend is giving major pick me vibes. Fashion is meant to be an expression of who you are, and that starts with what you love. Explore that. (More on that next month)

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DIGITAL LIFE

I don’t know about you but I am equally as perturbed by a chaotic online space as I am by the messiness of my surroundings. Here’s a list of ideas for cleaning up your digital archives.

1. Organize the folders on your desktop.

2. Clean out, organize, and edit photo folders and cloud.

3. Organize bookmarks across all platforms.

4. Edit and Organize Pinterest boards.

5. Edit and delete old playlists.

6. Clean out and edit YouTube watch later list.

7. Delete apps you never use.

8. Review subscriptions and cancel everything mediocre.

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There you have it! This ought to sufficiently provide some fresh dopamine in the absence of “add to cart” for the month of January. Next month we will dive deeper into cultivating personal style so it’s great to have a clean slate to work with. I hope this was helpful and serves to spur a greater appreciation for what you already have, as well as inspire ways in which you can beautify your space in the new year! Much love.

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